If you are unfamiliar with my Alma Mater you can ignore this post, but if you care at all about that school read on...
Covenant College is in trouble again! A couple years ago Covenant got in it so deep The Integrator had to come out of retirement to rescue the school. Thankfully this year no cartooning is needed. Wise President Nielson will save the college from the worst menace it has faced in years: Professors!
Professors at Covenant have a long history of distracting young people with tests, lectures, and a whole lot of discussion on books and such. Back when I was a student they seemed to think we should spend a majority of our time learning things. All that learning takes a lot of the fun out of college.
It's about time the President stood up to those professors! Out of 70 professors he's firing 10 of them. They call it "right sizing" but the other 60 professors will get the message: stop bothering the kids with all that book learning! An added benefit is this frees up some cash for what really makes a college great: competitive athletics!
If we could fire 30 or 40 more worthless professors we might be able to produce an athletics program capable of losing in the first round of the NCAA tournament! Just think how much pride that would bring to Covenant and the PCA!
Let's face it: graduating year after year of intelligent, Christian liberal arts graduates was getting dull. It is time the college stopped being so hung up on education and moved on to bigger and better things. Thanks to the visionary leadership of Neil Neilson Covenant can become what God intended it to be: the world's greatest Presbyterian Sports Camp!
*If you happen to sympathize with those backwards-minded students and alumni that still want Covenant to give liberal arts education you can oppose President Neilson's brilliant plan by working with others on Facebook, Twitter, or write a letter directly to him.