So it is interesting that I spent the last decade preparing to be a doctor, and now that I am finally practicing medicine as a licensed MD I have this strange sense of let down. I still like my job and my patients, but I have this constant feeling that it "isn't what I expected," although I'm not exactly sure what it was I expected.
I suppose this isn't uncommon for romantic notions when they collide with reality. I have a great permanent job that has been offered to me. I'm still thinking it over. I wonder if I'm really just stalling because of my hesitancy about practicing medicine in general.
I'm sure this is just a phase I'm going through right now and pretty soon I'll be loving doctoring as much as ever. It is interesting though to realize how phantasmal one's dreams actually are.